4 day weekend - Came and went

I went to the Red Party with Chiara and Paula Friday night. I canceled on the ski-trip because to be honest, I couldn't really afford it.

It was a good night. Danced a lot. Paula and Rob were fighting that night and Paula wanted to go out. Guess who decided to show up? She didn't even tell Rob she was coming so you can imagine how awkward it was for them to see each other. Paula left early. She didn't feel right. Towards the end of the night, Rob and I were talking. And it turns out, he was decided to cut it loose with Paula. He told me he felt like he couldn't fall in love with her. It hurt me to hear him say that, because yes, I want the two of them to be happy but if it's not with each other I guess something has to be done.

I didn't tell Paula when I got home that night, instead I waiting until the next morning to tell her. She was a little depressed. I wish there was something I could do to not make her feel that way, but waking up on Saturday I felt like I had a hangover. And I didn't even drink!

I woke up with the worst headache and nauseous feeling ever. After I got off the phone with Paula, I ran to the bathroom and threw up. Chiara ordered food online and I got a tuna melt and fries. I just wanted to sleep. And exactly what I did, while her and Moreno watched Dr. Who, I slept for 12 hrs straight. I woke up at 2:30am to Chiara making brownies. I love her randomness!

Anyways, I washed my face and grabbed a brownie with a bottle of water. Me and her talked for a bit before I decided to lay back down. My body was aching me, but I said I would sleep it out. I woke up at 9am feeling so refreshed.

Chiara was getting ready with Moreno to meet with Sebastian (another headache of Chiara's) to a museum. She did ask me to go the night before, because she didn't want him to get the idea that it was a "date" but I told her I would stay in, clean up the house a bit and relax, because she did say she wanted to go to the Redrum Ball/Smiths Party.

I ended up meeting with Paula for Thai and she showed me her apartment. I know what its like being alone and having your own place, so I offered her my company. We watched the Devil Wears Prada on her laptop. I asked her to if she wanted to come out and she told me she didn't want to stay in, so she got ready and came back to my place.

Chiara was telling us about her "horrible" day with Sebastian. As they talked and talked, I was getting cold so I went under covers. It was about 12am. Although we had to meet with some colleagues from work at brunch the following morning, we decided to not go out.

Paula texted me when she got home and I went straight to bed. Because brunch was in Flushing, I decided I would spend the night here by mum and go to work from here. Met Paula on the 7 train and met up with Paul, Federico, Flora, Anthony, Dolly, Christian, his wife and yes....anti-social Safi. Had a wonderful time, sharing some laughs and trying new food.

Everyone parted and I came here to my mum's. I'll be going to work from here. I actually miss work.

Sadly it's all I have going for me right now.
I feel so alone.
I don't want to become bitter, but the taste off my tongue is tasting like misery.

I hope this goes away....and very soon.