And so it goes on...

Well, this is comforting.

A guy I used to kick it with, back when I was living with my roommate in Queens, is in a relationship. Why am I surprised? Well, of course I was attracted to this guy. He's Italian and Hispanic. His uncle used to to DJ at a local bar that I used to go to, hence how I've met him. He turned out to be a complete douche bag. He would ask me to hang out and his idea of a date was parking up in a dark spot and making out with me. He always wanted more, but my gut didn't have it in me to do it? Self respect? Whatever it may be.

The last time I did see him, we went to a Spanish bar with a couple of his friends (all guys). You would NOT believe, he kept buying me drinks an d I got totally wasted. Meanwhile, he was chatting up a storm with another girl and dancing with her in front of my face. His friend then proceeded to hit on me. I remember crying out of that bar and cabbing it to Chemistry where all my friends were. Stupid of me to think he would take me serious, he's now in a relationship with someone else! Ha, good riddance asshole. You can be someone else's problem now.

Anyways, yesterday was Flora and Hana's farewell at Bull's Head bar. The whole office was there, even Juan from Red Hawk. We sat and taaaalked before he left. I thought I was the only person to connect with someone besides Chiara and Chris based on energy but he is so insightful. I always felt he had an attraction for me, but isn't that how most guys are? Always flattering women. PLUS he used to married to a girl in our office. So, yeah...no. But something about him last night BLEW my mind. I won't put any thought into it. If the universe brings it to me, so be it.

I left Bull Head around 8ish to meet my roommates and JP at St. Marks. We had burgers then sat at a cafe before going to LIT dancing the night away. Saw Jeremy. I can't tell whether that guy is straight bi. Either way, he's hot. The thing is, gay guys are always drawn to me. Or maybe I feel that way, I don't know.

We walked all the way home, talking by the Hudson River. It's so nice having Chiara there. She's such a wonderful person. It took us about 40 min walking home. And MAN were my legs killing me, but it was so gorgeous out!

I decided I want to live my life without an expectation. I want so much to be with someone, but until I find that 'click' with someone, then I'll allow myself to feel. I won't settle. I'll just let the universe bring it to me.