Went to Mad River for Benny's bday. I didn't want to tell his brother how I felt. It seemed to awkward. I tried to make eye contact, but I guess he took it as me being friendly. Plus, he was sorta hangin with a girl that was giving him attention so, I guess she won it. It would probably be to awkward to tell him I actually like him, so I'll wait it out.

While we were all having drinks and dancing, I was having a convo with one of there girls there. We were talking about relationships. Although she is married, she told me she truly admires me for being single and strong. Honestly, I think for me this is a curse.

She told me the minute she got married and didn't pay any mind to guys, that's when they came around. She said the key thing is to act like you're in a relationship because when she told herself she was done, that's when she found her husband. It was good conversing with her. I love networking and hearing of other peoples experiences.

The bday boy got really trashed, so we all left early. Chris earlier, offered me a comp ticket to SMACK! I really wanted to see him, so I decided to go. Waiting outside for him, he didn't text back. I was hoping to not have wasted a cab ride there, because I REFUSE to pay $35 to get in. Outside, I met with Bobbie and Arlette.

When I got to the line, Mandana was out. I told her I was waiting for Chris because he comped me. She just gave me the ticket and told me to go in. She was super sweet to have done that without waiting for Chris to come out.

I hung out with Arlette and boys. I love the lavish lifestyle she lives. All she does is give these guys attention and she gets money from them. It was a crazy fetish party. The 1st time I been there, it was awesome. Some guy asked me massage his feet. I kindly declined. He then asked if he could massage my hands.....eh. So I let him. Then, I saw Chris. He looked like he was looking for someone.

He went upstairs and I followed him. When he saw me, he gave me the warmest hug and apologized. He told me he didn't have his phone with him. After small talk, I introduced him to Arlette and Bobbie.

We got on the dancefloor and danced. (Boy, does he dance so well!) Then we went upstairs to chat and his friend Glitch kneeled on the floor. He told Chris to tell me I was beautiful. Super sweet guy, not to mention MAJOR attractive. He had this black metal look. Chris kept hinting if I wanted a drink (as in, let's leave) but for some odd reason I was like, drawn to be around Glitch. We hung out talking for a bit, Paulee came over.

Throughout the night, like 3 guys told me they liked my legs. It was soooo wild. Anyways, I was so ready to go. Chris had to run around for a bit so I told him I would go upstairs and sit down. I sat next to Glitch. He was telling me about living in Philly, his (awesome) piercings, his hair..etc. We talked so much. He was teasing me telling me, Chris is mine and I have to fight him for Chris.

I also had a chance to speak to Bobbie. She told me, so what's up with you and boy wonder? He seems so charming and he is EXTREMELY handsome. I couldn't agree more. I told her my situation and how I felt inside. She told me to stop thinking and just feel. It's the only way. She gave me advise like an older sister. Sweet ol' Bobbie. I love her!

And so, before we left I said bye to Glitch. Told him I would add him on facebook and he told me to "take care of his little brother." It seems to me that the couples in that scene are swingers. I'm sure Glitch was there was with his girlfriend as well.

When we left, we grabbed two beers and a sandwich from the corner deli and cabbed it home. Chris paid for everything! We got home, Chiara told me we had company over. Spaz, Michael and Chris came over. Chiara went straight to bed and so did I.

Everyone left. I got to say, having Chris crash over, hugging me all night.....it felt like good old times. I missed it. I missed that comfort. When we woke up, I made coffee and he ran downstairs to get bagels at the store for me. I made him breakfast and we talked about last night. It was so wonderful. I felt so happy inside again. So comfortable, yet.....not so complete.

After breakfast, Chiara woke up. We decided to lay down in bed and watch a movie. I snuggled against him, while him and Chiara watched the movie. It was so nice to have him there. So much so, it sorta made me sad when we left.

He had to go back to Brooklyn. I packed my laundry and like a real man, he carried my laundry for me to the 2nd floor. He always threw away the garbage. This charming man...

I'm sure I'll be seeing him again, real soon.