WHERE DO I GO FROM HERE?

I feel lost. WHERE DO I GO FROM HERE? I recently found out my ex of four and a half years (who has been trying to "prove how much he loves me" and why I should get back with him) was talking to a mutual friend while we were together. Now yes, this may have happened in the past, but this is ONE of many incidents that has occured between us.

I always said " You cannot build a bridge on top of a weak foundation, or your bridges will collapse". You cant expect me to just accept it. I loved you with every fiber in my body but you was unable to give me that in return. After four and a half years of dating and one year of a mutual break-up between us, your ready to love me? I see your efforts in trying to make me happy, this I am grateful for, truly I seen that you do a lot, but I dont have enough energy to fight for you. I love you but I'm not IN LOVE with you anymore.

Why do you have the need to still "explain" yourself after so many years? You get bit by a snake you have to suck the venom out. If I didnt find out about her, you would have NEVER told me. What else are you hiding in that shallow heart of yours? I wish I had answers....

..I have totally lost my faith*