So I took my camera for some inspiration to Coney Island, with Moreno and Chiara. We grabbed a beer at a pub around the corner from the board walk as we listened to a band do cover songs live. They were actually pretty good.

Thereafter, we went to Dark Bar. A few good friends from the scene were there. Then we walked home. Yes. All the way from Delancy. It took an hour but the night was so beautiful. We took pictures of buildings while we walked and got home around 12ish. I knocked out because I had work the next
day and Moreno started to bake brownies. The sweet smell of it, drifted me into a deep sleep.

Cut to Friday (today)....

I had a chance to reflect on some things this past week. I read some of my old posts and saw how ridiculous I sounded. Like, how fast I can crush on a guy and "wishfully" hope on him being places I were going. He's back with his ex, MARY. Wake the fuck up! You cannot start anything with anyone with a dirty plate. This is why I keep a steel heart in this body of mine. I don't think I want anyone to get so close to it. Or maybe I do and I'm just scared? Then explain why my desires are so jaded when I get everything that I'm asking for. Is it what I really want? Or do I think I want it?

I find myself lost again. Searching for what? I don't know. I don't know anything anymore. I do know I'm existing but I need a focal point.

I just know to know where to start....